Facts:  Chris Cook, a second-year defensive player for the NFL's Minnesota Vikings, was recently arrested on charges of felony domestic assault by strangulation.  Mr. Cook allegedly went into an uncontrollable rage when he found his girlfriend of ten months speaking with her ex-boyfriend.

Mr. Cook first threw her onto a bed and strangled her with an open hand. She was able to free herself for a moment by pulling his dreadlocks, but he soon began to attack her again.  This time, he struck her with an open hand and sent her stumbling into a wall.  He then strangled her a second time.  

Eventually, the matter seems to have calmed down and a call was made to the police.  When police arrived, they noted that Cook’s girlfriend had a bloody nose, marks on her neck, and hemorrhaging in her eye, which usually indicates strangulation. This is not the first time that Mr. Cook’s rage has led to him making poor decisions.  Earlier this year, he was charged with brandishing a gun at a neighbor in Virginia.  Though he was not found guilty, the Vikings sat down with Mr. Cook to discuss the disturbing behavior and let him know that he needed to clean up his conduct.  He did not listen.

Because of his actions, Mr. Cook missed an important game against the Green Bay Packers, the defending Super Bowl Champions.  While the game was being played, he was sitting in county jail just a few blocks away from the stadium.  His problems are going to be reviewed by the NFL soon and a suspension is likely.

Law:  In 2005, Minnesota became one of only six states to enact legislation making domestic abuse by strangulation a felony.  The crime is punishable by up to three years imprisonment and/or a fine of $5,000.  

Analysis:  Mr. Cook’s story is not unique for young American males. Tempers sometimes flare; I've had to control my own at times, but we all have to learn to deal with our issues in more productive ways.  First, it is important to recognize that you may have a problem with your anger.  The signs can be as simple as losing your temper over small issues and can be as serious as involvement with gangs.  For a more detailed list, please visit: http://www.familyfirstaid.org/teen-anger.html

The above website also provides families with important advice to help others who might be dealing with rage.  These are important for you personally.  There is no shame in admitting that you struggle with anger and rage.  The shame comes from hiding from it and letting it control you.  There are a number of important resources available to you in your community.  At school, you can speak with a teacher, nurse, counselor, or administrator.  If you are not comfortable with any of those options, you may be able to find help at your church, local sports organization, or any health facility where you have a support network. The important step is to combat the anger and rage before it gets out of hand.

As for Mr. Cook, he has foolishly allowed his anger to become a major part of his life.  He had a chance to change his ways when he was found not guilty of brandishing a gun. Instead of seeking outside help in dealing with his anger, he chose to face his problem alone. His personal efforts, however, have not worked out.  Fortunately, it does not appear that his girlfriend sustained any serious, life-threatening injuries as a result of the attack.

A felony conviction makes it very hard to find a job. Mr. Cook is lucky that he is involved in one of the more forgiving professions, but very few professions want to be associated with someone who batters women.  His future with the club is now uncertain.  He missed the team’s biggest game of the season because he was locked up for the weekend.  His teammates cannot honestly rely on him right now and some teammates have probably lost all respect for him as a person. 

This type of reputation will be with him forever, all because he refused to seek help for a problem he knew he had.  Since this is a free country, his ex-girlfriend has the right to speak with her previous boyfriends.  For her trouble, she was almost strangled to death.  Once again, if you find yourself struggling with anger, please seek help before it gets this bad.  Do it for your sake and for the sake of your loved ones.