Before Life Hands You Lemons
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Too Bad She Didn’t Call Her Chauffeur: Paris Hilton Behind Bars

The Facts: When Paris decided to drive on a suspended license, she found herself facing forty five days in the slammer. Miss Hilton’s problems behind the wheel started in 2006, when she was arrested for DUI. Because she chose to drink and drive, Paris had her license suspended for three months, paid a fine of $1,500, was sentenced to three years probation, and was required to attend an alcohol education class. 

But it got worse. Early the next year, Paris was caught driving twice, even though her license was suspended. One of those times, she was recklessly driving her new Bentley at 70 mph in a 35 mph zone, and she wasn’t using her headlights. Because driving with a suspended license violated her probation, and because she didn’t go to her alcohol education class, Paris found herself in front of a judge again. The judge sentenced her to forty-five days in prison.

Claiming a mental health condition, Paris got herself reassigned to home detention after serving just 3 days in prison.  In the words of E! Online blogger Josh Grossberg, "news of Hilton's home confinement sparked outrage".  With the public questioning why celebrities are not held to the same standards as other citizens, the judge called Paris back to court and sent her back to jail to finish her sentence.

The Law: Paris Hilton’s lawyers had to deal with laws involving probation, DUI, and reckless driving. 

First, when a person violates the terms of their probation, they can be sent to jail. That’s exactly what happened to Paris when she refused to stop driving. 

Second, in California, a person commits DUI when their blood alcohol content is .08% or higher. If Paris weighs 120 pounds, and was out drinking for two hours, it would take between four and five beers for her to reach .08%. For first-timers, this crime carries a punishment of up to six months in jail, a six-month license suspension, mandatory attendance in alcohol education classes, and fines which can sometimes exceed $1,500. Because Paris admitted to the DUI charges, she originally wasn’t sent to prison. 

Finally, reckless driving is a crime that can carry 5-90 days of jail time and a fine of up to $1,000. 

The Takeaway: First, don’t drink and drive! The punishment for drinking and driving alone is pretty severe. Second, if your license ever is suspended, don’t continue to drive! The punishment for continuing to drive on a suspended license can be worse than the punishment for the original crime, and can even include serious jail time. Just ask Paris.

Fallen Former Child Star Arrested Again

The Facts

In late January 2010, police responded to a civil disturbance at former child star, Gary Coleman’s, home in Utah. While investigating the dispute, police discovered an arrest warrant for Coleman’s failure to appear in court in a different domestic violence case. According to a police report, “Mr.Coleman was taken into custody and booked at the Utah County Jail without incident. The arrest warrant is unrelated to the original [call].” No criminal charges were filed, but Coleman was held in prison until his $1,720 bail was posted. 

Coleman claims he was in the hospital on the date he was to appear in court, and thus missed his scheduled appearance. 

The Law 

No facts have been released regarding Coleman’s original domestic violence case. Most likely, Coleman has been charged with some degree of assault, which is defined in Utah as an attempt or threat to physically hurt another person using force or violence, or actually causing another person physical injury by using force or violence. Most assaults are considered a class B misdemeanor in Utah, meaning a person convicted of assaultcan be sentenced to six months in prison and fined up to $1,000. 

The Takeaway

First, and most importantly, do not put yourself in situations that can lead to you being arrested, unlike Gary Coleman. There are much better ways to spend your time than behind bars, and much better ways to spend your money than on fines and expensive attorney’s fees. Second, if you have a court date, do not miss it! If you fail to appear in court, a warrant is issued for your arrest and you can go to jail.

Merry Christmas, Charlie Sheen

The Facts

On December 25, 2009, actor Charlie Sheen was arrested on charges of domestic violence, including second-degree assault and menacing, against his wife, Brooke Mueller.  Brooke told police that the couple had an argument after Brooke told Charlie she wanted a divorce.  At that point, Brooke claims that Charlie held her down, put a knife to her throat and said, “You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I'll kill you.”  Charlie denied Brooke’s allegations, and instead told police that the couple had slapped each other on the arms and that he had snapped two pairs of her glasses in front of her.

Charlie was released from jail after posting an $8,500 bond.  OnFebruary 8, 2010, he was charged with third-degree assault, criminal mischief and felony menacing.

The Law  

Under Colorado law, a person commits third-degree assault if they knowingly or recklessly cause bodily injury to another person, or if they cause bodily injury to another person by use of a deadly weapon—like a knife. Assault in the third degree is a class one misdemeanor, meaning that a person convicted of this crime can be sentenced to up to two years in prison and pay a$5,000 fine.

The second crime Charlie is charged with—criminal mischief—is defined as damaging someone else’s property.  If the damage is less than $500, the crime is a class two misdemeanor, meaning the guilty person can be sent to prison for up to one year and be required to pay a $1,000 fine.  If the damage is between $500 and $1,000, the crime is a class one misdemeanor, and the guilty person can be sentenced to up to two years in prison and pay a $5,000 fine.  If the damage is greater than $1,000, the crime is considered a felony and the punishment is greater.

The last crime Charley is charged with is menacing, which Colorado law defines as knowingly placing or trying to place another person in fear of serious bodily injury by threat or physical action.  If a deadly weapon—like a knife—is used, menacing is considered a class five felony, which carries a prison sentence of one to three years, as well as a mandatory parole period of two years.  In addition, a person convicted of a class five felony can be fined up to $100,000. 

The Impact

Though Charlie Sheen continues to act in his hit comedy, Two-and-a-Half Men, the incident in Colorado did hurt his career.  Charlie has been dropped as a spokesman for Hanes, and the company decided pull all commercials featuring Charlie from the air waves. 

The Lesson

Control your anger, or you will pay the price.  

If Charlie Sheen is found guilty of the domestic violence charges discussed above, he faces more than five years in prison.  Charlie is the father of four small children, and could miss out on many important years of their lives—all because he let his emotions get away from him.

Furthermore, Charlie could potentially pay more than to $100,000 infines.  While a celebrity might not consider this a large sum of money, it is a huge amount to the average American.  For $100,000, you could buy approximately 400 iPods, 500 Nintentdo Wii's, or a house in certain parts of the country. 

If you find yourself in a situation that makes you really upset, do not let your feelings lead you to make bad decisions.  Instead, take a deep breath and slowly count to ten.  If you still do not feel like you can calmly deal with the situation, talk to an adult like a parent or teacher and ask for their help.  

Nobody wins when violence occurs, especially you. 

The 'Teachable Moment' is...


...Teach the basics of Modern Criminal Law in each American High School and Citizen Naturalization Center. The 'Gates' case illustrates that a person can be an accomplished Ivy League professor and yet without an understanding of the law (Disorderly Conduct), they can become victims of their own ignorance.  We at LawyerUp feel that not providing an opportunity for every American to learn the Law is like asking a person to play a game of Monopoly without first introducing the rules.

The issue (though we know the prism of race and class may cloud this) is whether a person can be lawfully arrested while at their own home, after officers, responding to a possible burglary, determine that said person is the resident.

On July 16th of 2009, in Cambridge Massachusetts, Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates (aka Skip), returned to his home from a journey to China.  Due to a malfunctioning front door, Gates enacted the help of his car driver to assist him in trying to open his troublesome door.  Seeing this abnormal activity and aware of previous break-ins throughout the neighborhood, Lucia Whalen placed a 911 call stating that she saw two men on Gates' front porch who appeared to be trying to force open the door.

In the vicinity, Sgt. James Crowley responded to the call, encountering Gates when Gates was in the foyer of his Ware Street home. Now here's where it gets somewhat fuzzy (as to who said what and when), however Patrolman Carlos Figueroa (a 3rd party eye witness) stated in a police report that he heard Crowley ask Gates for id and heard Gates say, "No, I will not!" We do not know whether Sgt.  Crowley first put his question into context (i.e. we had a report of a break in...).  Then, Figueroa says that Gates began calling Sgt. Crowley a racist, saying, "This is what happens to black men in America."  Gates, then retrieved his i.d. proving that he was the legal resident of the home.  Sgt. Crowley asked Gates to come outside... Because, when investigating a burglary, Figueroa says, "Part of our protocol is to make sure we know who is in there (the home) and legally in there.  On the way out of the residence, Gates began demanding Sgt. Crowley's name and badge number.  On Gates' front porch Sgt. Crowley arrested him for 'Disorderly Conduct.' 

While almost every state in America has a 'Disorderly Conduct' law with varying penalties, in Massachusetts' General Law a disorderly person is defined as one who:

  • with purpose to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, or
  • recklessly creates a risk thereof
  • engages in fighting or threatening, violent or tumultuous behavior, or
  • creates a hazard or physically offensive condition by any act which serves no legitimate purpose.

"A person may be punished by imprisonment in a jail or house of correction for not more than six months, or by a fine of not more than $200, or by both such fine and imprisonment." For further detail see MGL Chapter 272, section 53. 

Here, the officers responded to a legitimate 911 call, as opposed to 'profiling' or seeing Gates pry open his door first hand, so they had probably cause to investigate a possible crime. When they asked, Gates for his id and he (supposedly) initially refused, the officers have a legitimate reason to be alarmed. When Gates produced his id, all suspicions as to his legitimacy to be in the residence are cleared, however protocol often demands that the resident come outside of the home (so the officers can determine whether the person is being threatened from inside the home by a latent criminal).  This is seemingly legitimate, especially if a search of the home is then conducted.  However, enroute to his front porch, it is reported that Gates grew loud, questioning the officer for his name and badge number (which is legitimate) and (supposedly) hurling insults.  Now, case law states that mere words can not be crimes, they may however be the basis for a defamation law suit, but that is a civic matter.

Therefore, when Gates left his home and grew loud in public, creating a public inconvenience, he can be (and was) arrested.  However, since each prosecutor is responsible for deciding whether to prosecute a (potential) crime based on the merit of a case, here, the case was dropped 5 days after the incident i.e. meritless.

While we are refraining from commenting on all contextual prisms here- there is always 'context' - which should be carefully considered before acting...The takeaway or 'Teachable Moment' is, it helps to know the law and while (supposedly) hurling insults are not unlawful, if they are hurled with volume (to an officer or anyone else) and in public, you can be arrested- albeit not in the confines of your home. On your front porch? Yes. 

Phil Spector Finds ‘That Loving Feeling’ Behind Bars

The Charge:  Second Degree Murder with the Enhancement of the Use of a Firearm.

The Facts:  Here, B-movie and bit part actress, Lana Clarkson ( "Scarface," "Fast Times at Ridgemont High") was working as a part-time hostess at House of Blues in Hollywood, California, when she met music producer, Phil Spector for the first (and last) time early in the morning of February 3, 2003.  Begrudgingly, Clarkson accepted an invitation from Spector to go to his home for a drink and by 5:00 AM, was shot through the roof of her mouth, slouched in a strange position, in a chair, in the foyer of Spector’s 28 room Alhambra, California castle. 
Spector’s chauffer had driven the pair to Spector’s house, about 15 miles outside Hollywood.  The chauffer, who  was waiting outside in the limousine, said he heard a loud noise and then Spector came outside the house with his gun in his hand and said “I think I killed somebody.”  When the police came to Spector’s house in response to the 911 call made by the chauffer, Spector was reportedly belligerent, refusing to obey orders and had to be tasered.

Spector was charged with Clarkson’s murder and his first trial ended in September 2007 with a mistrial, with the jury deadlocked 10-2 for conviction.  The second trial began in October of 2008 and wrapped up with the jury’s guilty verdict on April 13, 2009.

The prosecution presented five women who testified that Spector had threatened them with guns at various times over the past several decades, dating back to the Seventies.  The defense claimed that Clarkson was depressed because her career had foundered, and found one of Spector’s many handguns on her first visit to his home, and spontaneously decided to commit suicide by shooting herself in the mouth.  The prosecutor however cited that Clarkson bought new shoes earlier that day, a highly unusual act for a suicidal woman to do. The jury deliberated more than 30 hours over nine days before they unanimously voted to convict Spector.

Spector’s sentencing is scheduled for May 29, 2009, where he faces life in state prison, with a mandatory 18 years before he could be eligible for parole.  Spector has also been sued by Clarkson’s mother and sister for wrongful death.

Spector is expected to appeal his criminal conviction, and will do so from behind bars.
Second-degree murder is the unlawful killing of a human being with malice, but without the additional elements (willfulness, premeditation, and deliberation) that would support a conviction of first-degree murder.  The use of a firearm in the commission of second degree murder is an enhancement which adds additional time to the sentence upon conviction.

The Takeaway:  Possessing a firearm is a serious responsibility.  Guns should not be displayed- unless you’re using them for hunting, self-defense or cleaning.  Brandishing a gun when impaired by alcohol, weed etc. drastically increases the likelihood of a tragic mistake occurring.  Death is final.  It can not be taken back, even if you are rich and still moderately famous.  Also, chasing fame, in Clarkson’s case, can be a dangerous game; set reasonable limits, travel with friends if and when accompanying strangers to their home. In this case, Clarkson’s thirst for fame cost Clarkson her life.

Stallworth Stalling for Time

On March 14, 2009 in Miami Florida, Dante Stallworth, an NFL wide receiver, hit and killed Mario Reyes, a 59 year old construction worker.  Reyes was walking to a bus station after work when Stallworth driving a Bentley Continental struck him.  When tested, Stallworth’s blood alcohol level (BAL) was 0.12; this is fifty percent higher than the Florida state limit of 0.08.  As a result, Stallworth was charged with Drinking Under the Influence (DUI) and second degree manslaughter in Florida.  While the accident is still under investigation, Stallworth is on 200,000 dollars bail.  


Stallworth has a history of NFL teams “giving up” on him.  Originally drafted in the first round by the New Orleans Saints, he was traded to the Philadelphia Eagles for a linebacker and a conditional forth round pick (Bust!).  Hamstring injuries as well as substance abuse hampered his play in Philadelphia.  Next, he joined the New England Patriots and signed an incentive based 6 year 30 million dollar contract.  However, he couldn’t cut it and was released.  But shortly before the accident, the Cleveland Browns signed him to a 7 year 35 million dollar deal!   Then, Stallworth went from ‘Hero to Zero!’


In many jurisdictions a DUI charge is punishable with jail time, large fines, enrollment in DUI programs, and even the installation of “ignition interlock” devices.  Drunk driving is considered a felony in several states if there is a direct correlation to an accident resulting in “great” harm.  Under Florida Law Stallworth serves DUI punishment depending on the number of prior offences.  One form of punishment is monetary.  A first conviction: not less than $500, or more than $1,000. A second conviction: not less than $1,000, or more than $2,000 and so on… Other forms of punishment include community service, prohibition, impoundment of the vehicle, and imprisonment.   


Here, the more severe punishment will most likely come from the second degree manslaughter charges.  Under the 2008 Florida Statues, Stallworth faces up to 15 years in prison and a 10,000 dollar fine- plus court costs.  The exact punishment Stallworth faces depends on: whether he seeks a trial by jury or arranges a plea bargain (thus pleading guilty or no contest). In the later case, the time he is likely to receive depends on negotiations between his defense lawyer and the prosecutor (regarding evidence, like the BAL test, etc.), and the leniency of the judge when sentencing.  For info on FL State law, www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0775/Sec082.HTM.


Perhaps the greatest punishment Stallworth faces for drinking and driving comes from the fact that he killed a man as a result of his irresponsibility. 


Stallworth’s NFL career has been one of repeated disappointment.  As a promising player, team after team offered him chance after chance to live up to his potential.  Unlike former teammate Randy Moss, Stallworth did not reinvent himself due to off-field irresponsibility.  Bouts with drug abuse and alcohol dependency landed Stallworth in rehabilitation.  Stallworth’s previous problems pale in comparison to his current DUI and manslaughter charges.  Stallworth’s story: god-given talent and the disappointment of not living up to that talent.  With better decisions, he would have become the man fans believed he could be.  In the Stallworth story, the decision of driving when intoxicated cost one man his life and another man his freedom.

T.I. Weapons Charges: Unregistered Automatics and Illegal Possession, What You Know About That?

FELON IN POSSESSION OF A FIREARM STATUTE:  Any person who has been convicted of a felony is prohibited from possessing, receiving, or transporting a firearm.

POSSESSION OF UNREGISTERED MACHINE GUNS & SILENCERS:  It is unlawful for any person to possess fully automatic firearms and/or muzzle silencers without registration.

In T.I.’s current situation he solicited one of his bodyguards to purchase a number of firearms for him.  The bodyguard was to purchase the weapons under his own name, and then surrender the weapons to T.I.  When the bodyguard attempted to purchase the weapons without registering them, from a seemingly legit dealer, the dealer reported the incident to ATF agents.  In an attempt to avoid serious conviction himself, the bodyguard turned rat.  Working with ATF agents the bodyguard arranged a delivery of the weapons (various firearms, including unregistered silencers and automatics) to T.I.  As soon as the exchange was made, agents swarmed T.I.’s vehicle.  Later a search warrant for T.I.’s house was given and several more guns were discovered.  In total 12 guns were discovered in the convicted felons possession.

All things considered T.I. could face 10 years of imprisonment, and a fine of $250,000.00 per charge, which comes out to well over 3 million.

Of course if we ask O.J. we will learn that any celebrity facing hard time will likely find a way to buy their way out of trouble.  No surprises here, T.I. opens his wallet wide and hires renowned white collar criminal defense lawyer Steve Sadow, to slip his way out of a serious bind. 

When the plea bargaining dust settles T.I. looks at a year in jail (which he will likely never come close to serving), 1500 hours of community service (in which he will tell kids how terrible guns and violence are with the non-profits organization It’s Cool To Be Smart and The Music Education Group), 3 yrs supervised release, and a laughable $100,000.00 fine.  Does this sentence seem fair to you?  What would you consider a fair punishment for T.I.?

In reality T.I. will likely profit from this slight run-in with the law, as it will do wonders for his hardcore gangster rapper image.  Do you agree with this, or will this harm T.I.'s image?

The lesson to be learned here?  Unless you are a multi-platinum recording artist, stick to legal and registered guns, and keep yourself out of trouble if you want the right to continue owning them.  Unfortunately for the rest of society, a charge this serious would probably only mean a heavy prison sentence and a fine that couldn’t be paid off in 3 lifetimes.  As for boosting your image, think FRESH MEAT…

Winona Ryder is a Girl Interrupted as she attempts to walk out with over $5000 of unpaid for designer clothes.


Winona Ryder BiographyTHEFT RULE:  The rule is a theft is committed when a person trespassory takes and carry’s away the personal property of another with the intent to permanently deprive the possessor of the property.  In California it is elevated to Grand Theft when the value of the property is $400 or more. 

In this situation Winona is accused of carrying several items, from a high end Saks Fifth Avenue in the Hills, into a changing room, pulling an Edward Scissorhands, cutting tags off of them and stuffing them into her bags.  Poor Winona’s scheme didn’t pull anything over the store security.  Security approached her and apprehended the assailant and did a thorough search on her bags.  Security found over $5000 in unpaid for merchandise in Winona’s possession. Ryder claims she had thought she already purchased the items and was in no way trying to rip them off.  Winona claims she thought she had a credit with the store in which she takes what she wants and the store just charges it to her account.  It is also alleged that she cut tags because she was practicing for a role as a shoplifter she has in an upcoming film, maintaining that the clothes were assumed to be paid for.  Ryder could have faced up to 3 years in prison for the charges of grand theft, second degree burglary, and vandalism.

Winona’s defense would most likely have continued with the claim that Winona was under the impression that the close were paid for, relieving her of the mental intent required to convict for theft.  This means that if Winona could have shown through trial that she TRULY believed that the items were paid for, then she would not have had the intent to trespassory take the items, required under the crimes elements.

Winona and her top notch defense council could not acquit her of her charges and Winona was found guilty of the theft.  Her sentence, 3 years probation, $6500 in restitution to the store, $2700 in fines, and 480 hours of community service. 

Is this a fair punishment?  Personally I think this is extremely fair.  Her restitution is full, the fines are nearly half the value of the items she took, probation is long enough to leave an impression, and community service will give Winona something to do rather than go shopping for free clothes.

TAKEAWAY:  The truth is- nothing comes for free in this world, well not usually.  If you want something it is always a better choice to work for it rather than take it.  Not only does it teach you the ethical concept of hard work, but it might keep yer ass out of jail as well.  Also if you get caught as this case will show you, it will cost more in the end.

Why do you think somebody with seemingly unending cash would still feel the need to steal from a department store?  What possible explanations could there be?

Remy Ma Pops Off!

The Law

Intentional Assault (New York Penal Code). A person is guilty of assault in the first degree when: With intent to cause serious physical injury to another person, he causes such injury to such person or to a third person by means of a deadly weapon or a dangerous instrument; 

The Shooting

In July 2007, Grammy-nominated rapper Remy Ma was involved in an altercation that resulted in her long time friend, Makeda Barnes-Joseph being shot twice in the stomach (serious physical injury). Remy suspected Makeda of stealing $2,000 or more from her purse while the two were celebrating a friend’s birthday at the Pizza Bar in Manhattan. The crowd began to clear out after 3:00am. However, Remy got into Makeda’s car with a loaded .45 caliber gun (deadly weapon) and confronted her about the missing cash (this is probably how the jury decided that Remy acted intentionally).

The Trial

The prosecution initially charged Remy with attempted murder which was later amended to two counts of assault. Initially, Remy denied shooting Makeda. However, at trial Remy’s attorney admitted that the shooting was an accident. The defense claimed that the Makeda was trying to misrepresent the nature of the events in order to win money from Remy in a civil lawsuit. Remy could only hope to get a shorter sentence out of the situation by claiming the “accident” defense, as she was facing up to 25 years in prison.

A jury found Remy guilty of assault, weapons possession, and attempted coercion. She is currently serving an 8 year sentence in a New York prison and her lawyers plan to appeal.

Lesson

Don’t bring a gun to fight. No longer claiming to be conceited, Remy pleaded for sympathy as she recognized the impact that any jail time would have on her young son and other loved ones. She obviously felt remorseful about the situation and she sobbed after her punishment was handed down. The judge did not feel the need to give Remy a slap on the hand. With the help of her lawyers, this more than likely would have been the result if there were no guns with hollow point bullets involved.

After all, the 2-3 thousand dollars Remy lost (which was never found in Jones possession) is nothing compared to the attorney fees, $250,000 bond, and time spent away from the free world. It’s understandable that firearms are used for protection, especially for celebrities and high-profile figures. But the smart ones go about it the LEGAL way and hire bodyguards to do the dirty work (See Snoop Dogg murder case). If you’re a normal person like me, you’re better off filing a report and taking the loss.

Watch Your Hands Mister!

Lay Off the Sauce, Pal

Many folks, especially fans of comedy, are familiar with the a antics of Andy Dick.  Whether it’s (allegedly, people – I ain’t trying to get sued, even if it has been written a thousand times before) getting drunk and groping Farrah Fawcett, or getting drunk and groping Jimmy Kimmel, there seems to be somewhat of a theme shared by 
Mr. Dick’s – shall we say – extra-legal activities.  With that in mind, there have been more shocking occurrences than his recent arrest.  Early in morning on July 16, Andy Dick was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor possession of marijuana, felony possession of narcotics, and sexual battery.  He had been drinking with some friends at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Murietta, CA, when he was approached by a couple girls.  Once they realized that he’d had a few too many wine coolers, they left his table.  When Dick & Co. later left the bar, he spotted the girls and drunkenly yelled something to the effect of, “There’s the girls!”  He then grabbed the right breast of the accusing witness, aged 17, and then pulled down her tank top and bra, exposing her breasts.  Police arrived quickly, and Dick was identified by the accusing witness and another witness.  During the search incident to arrest, police discovered both marijuana and a single Xanax pill in Dick’s pockets.  He has no prescription for either drug. 

Sex, Drugs, & Mediocre Entertainment
 
Mn the state of California, possession of most controlled substances, like Xanax, is charged as a felony.  Cannabis possession is a misdemeanor.  The prosecution will basically have to prove that Dick knew about and controlled the drugs in his possession.  Assuming that Dick is unable to plead down these charges, it should not be difficult for the government to prove its case.  Dick has previously been charged with drug (marijuana and cocaine) possession, but those charges were dropped because Dick entered a diversion program.  Because of these and a previous citation for public urination, my guess is that these drug possession charges will stick (assuming, of course, the reports are true). 

Dick is also charged with misdemeanor sexual battery.  It seems reasonable that if having a pill in your pocket is a felony, violating a woman’s rights and dignity in public should also be a felony, but in this case it’s not.  Pursuant to the CA Penal Code § 243.4, misdemeanor sexual battery is touching the intimate part of another person against that person’s will and for the purpose of sexual gratification, arousal, or abuse.  Generally speaking, it becomes a felony if the victim is unlawfully restrained.  The restraint does not have to be as extreme as, say, handcuffs; it could be an employer calling her employee into the break room and shutting the door.  At this point, there is no indication that the young woman was unlawfully restrained.  

Dick’s arraignment, initially set for August 12, has been postponed because no charges have been filed.  The case is still being reviewed.

Drinking is NOT a Defense

Just a quick initial note: police are allowed to search people “incident to arrest.”  While the rationale is officer safety, anything on the suspect’s person (and usually in any bags they are carrying or are within a complicated, ambiguous zone called the “grab area”) can be used as evidence of any crime, either committed by that suspect or by another person.  That’s how felony drug possession was added to misdemeanor sexual battery.  This happens all the time for all sorts of crimes for all sorts of people.    

The pertinent CA Penal Code provision does not set up drinking as a defense. And drinking shouldn’t be.  From the young woman’s perspective here, is it really any less degrading because Andy Dick was hammered?  People like Andy Dick have to be held accountable for their behavior at all times, else it would be too easy to “justify” criminal activity by making alcohol the accomplice.  Dick is obviously on notice that when he gets drunk, he engages in inappropriate and sometimes illegal activities.  In my opinion, he should stop drinking, but we’ll see if that happens – he doesn’t return my calls anymore.  He is in kind of a tough spot as an entertainer because he drunkenly does these wild things and people laugh – basically people encourage him.  That’s still not anything close to a justification for what he did.  Some innocent young woman didn’t need this horse’s ass humiliating her and ruining her night, and he had no right to do so.  He has no right to treat any woman in such a manner.  

Remember this: the drinking age is 21 in the United States.  So first I am saying this: don’t drink, and it’s probably a bad idea to be around people who are drinking underage.  However, I know what can happen in high school & college, so let me add this: if you’ve got a pal who’s been drinking and is getting too touchy-feely, you ought to tell him to knock it off.  One basic right that everyone has is the right to bodily integrity, and the fact that someone said “hi” earlier in the night doesn’t mean they want to be groped and have their privates exposed.  Don’t be A. Dick – keep your hands to yourself. 

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